The Extraordinary Rise and Relocation of the Smart Animal
I started working full-time on my novel on May 1st.
It turned out to be a very interesting day.
I have very high goals for the story I am writing, because it matters to me a great deal. I want it to be excellent and complete. I guess you could say I want it to be perfect. That’s a big but vague goal, and it definitely comes with some complications.
After all, what exactly is perfect?
My anxiety about perfection made my writing experience that day start off badly. I love to write when I am confident and creative, and those two always seem to come together. When I’m anxious, I have doubts about everything and that spoils and even prevents my writing.
That was where I started out that day. I was wondering if I could solve all the problems my story presents. I was scared to make any decision because I was afraid it would be wrong and create even more problems.
Even little choices can become agonizing when I am in this state of mind.
Analysis paralysis is nothing new for me, and I believe most people have experienced it. It comes from anxiety. My anxiety has impacted my life as well as my creativity, and those two are also definitely connected.
I think the idea of perfection is so stifling because it seems that there is only one right choice, one correct path, one perfect way. This creates a lot of tension and makes everything scary.
The perfect truth
In reality, I know that I have the freedom to make a lot of different choices and still end up doing exactly what I need to do. It may look a little different but that does not matter. There are many paths, and they are all perfect as long as I finish the trip.
After struggling and meditating and praying, I started working and had a great day. I finished a scene I had been stuck on for a while, and I have also outlined and organized the entire novel into three parts with 15 chapters.
In the end, I really enjoyed writing last week and did some great work. I feel very blessed and grateful, and I can’t wait to discover what new paths will open up for me, and what I will learn along the way.
If you missed it, check out last week’s fiction post about Queen Nikki Kitten here.
Thanks for reading!