The Awful Oblivescence of the Almost Oblivious Ostrich

Finally, an original ostrich occasional

Visual images created and licensed by Sasha on Shutterstock using DALLE-E 2 and EXAONE.

The only and lonely camel-bird 

While many assumed that the cats were the only animals late to the planning meeting at the Greatest Tree’s crown top, there was another absence that went completely unnoticed and unremarked.   

Queen Nikki Kitten — personally — had carefully noted it, but most did not pay attention. She had her own reasons for not mentioning it to others. In fact, she knew where the missing animals were and exactly what they were doing. 

So did the owls, of course.  

The fact that most others did not notice was not too terribly surprising, for this animal — a bird of least concern — had forgotten its own self even more than others had.  

The ostrich hardly remembered who it was, where it was from, or even what or where it presently was.    

Of course, very few people would consider an ostrich to be a smart animal.  

But then, maybe an ostrich’s main problem isn’t a lack of mental capacity, but extreme difficulty in managing their own emotional regulation.  

The angry ostrich 

After all, have you ever seen an ostrich that didn’t look absolutely furious?  

How would you feel if you were an ancient, overweight, fluffy feathered, nine-foot-tall flightless bird?    

For the ostrich, this humiliation happened so long ago that they can hardly even remember it.   

Since they don’t know who to blame and what to blame them for, they tend to blame everyone for everything.   

Especially themselves.  

Therefore, ostriches tend to act impulsively, even compulsively.  

You know how it is when you’re pissed off, but don’t quite know why.  

The ostrich, classified as Struthio camelus, is the heaviest bird on earth, not to mention the fastest two-legged runner. Of course, the animals that prey on the ostrich basically all have four legs, except for humans. Lions, tigers, cheetahs, leopards and so on.   

Cats, but also spotted hyenas and wild dogs.  

Many predators just like to steal the giant ostrich egg, which is the largest on earth. Some humans even enjoy ostrich eggs, not to mention the bird’s meat, leather, and fancy feathers. 

The whole ostrich egg was kept as a relic in medieval church sanctuaries. Going back even further to Mesopotamia, artisans made intricately designed egg-shell cups fitted with gold and jewels. Then again, the poor ostrich was plucked naked of feathers to decorate hats at one time before the invention of the automobile plunged those hats into fashion oblivion.  

However, this has all been a personal matter and ostrich farming has largely been a failed enterprise. For one thing, the exceptionally large and unpredictable bird has been quite difficult to homogenize.  

The dramatic boom and bust of the ostrich feather market has mirrored the bird’s own unique destiny in an odd and unprofitable way.  

Why did the real bird bubble burst?  

The ostrich is ancient, hailing forth from back in the Cretaceous — millions of years ago. In that period, the dinosaur-bird flew quite magnificently.  

Perhaps we could even describe it as a dragon.  

Why this stopped is something personal, a matter between bird and God.   

It might be one reason the ostrich has so many resentments.  

Back on the ground, the ostrich is native to the same grassland and savanna as the elephants, giraffes, zebras, and many others. An ostrich can also live in the desert. The camel-bird is very resilient and has a biologically reduced need for water. Just like a camel, an ostrich is also the only bird with just two toes. It also has three compartments of stomach, a long neck, and wide eyes with fluttery eyelashes.  

Aristotle puzzled over the ostrich, unsure whether to consider it a mammal or bird, and this uncertainty continues to trouble taxonomists right up to today.  

Genetic tests have shown how unique the ostrich really is, and today it is considered the only living member of its family and order. 

DNA tests also suggest that the ostriches’ ancestor flew around the world and gave birth to today’s large flightless bird.

Truthfully, an ostrich does not actually care where it is, for the land it loved has vanished in time. An ostrich, in a zoo or anywhere else, isn’t merely stuck between natural and unnatural worlds, but tragically stranded between entire shelves of molecular time.  

Essentially, an ostrich is a magnificent flying dinosaur-at-heart who never really adjusted to the modern age, much less the medieval one. In comparison, the postmodern era is an unthinkable specter to this ancient being.  

Known to be forgetful and absent-minded, an ostrich has a reputation for sticking its head into the sand to avoid facing reality. Although that story is just bad gossip, the ostrich most definitely has an avoidant personality and extreme social anxiety.

Essentially, they run first and ask questions never. Their entire life and existence have been boiled down to a single survival mechanism. Feelings of inadequacy and inferiority are overwhelming to the ostrich who is much too tall and fluffy to hide like a worm in the dirt.  

Nothing against the worm, of course. 

Despite this very long-lasting existential crisis and spiritual amnesia, the ostrich was once a very fine creature of great history, with a fabulous future.  

Awakening the ostriches' secret and silent heart to those memories and this future-longing is a difficult but necessary task, for the ostrich has an essential role to play. 

First of all — and lastly — the ostrich secretly but passionately desires to fly again.  

The day the ostrich remembers will be unforgettable for all. 

Did you read about the meeting between Queen Nikki Kitten and the animals in the Greatest Tree’s crown top?

Cadmus Fighting the Dragon

Vienna, Museum of Art History. Frontal relief of Etruscan cinerary urn. Alabaster. 2nd century BCE. Inv. No. I 1045.