Real Word, Turkey

I'm talking to you

Gabble, gabble.

The words I speak.  

Are they honest? Are they useful?  Are they kind?  

Those are three questions I want to ask myself about every sentence that comes out of my mouth.  

It all came about because of Thanksgiving

I love reading and writing and eating, but speaking to humans face-to-face is a task I truly abhor. Over turkey it is way worse. In preparation for this day and the days to follow, I had been making a joke in my mind about taking a vow of silence — to celebrate my personal gratitude more graciously.  

As a result, I really, really lost my voice on this very blessed day! 

Why?

For many years — actually my whole life — I’ve tried to avoid commercial holidays because they frustrate me tremendously. Hiding from them is very difficult, tantamount to locking yourself up in a cultural and social safe room.

I’m pretty good at that, though.  

On Thanksgiving I’ve usually worked obsessively (or done something else obsessively) to achieve this absence. 

I’ve always objected to Thanksgiving because I find it to be deeply rooted in colonialist fantasies that swirl endlessly about in our culture, particularly on holidays. I could speak expansively about this, but I won’t.   

Let me briefly put it this way: Thanksgiving is a time that everyone pretends to be thankful while overeating, planning their shopping frenzy and committing all kinds of political, economic, and social crimes.  

See? I’m not a person you want at your dinner table.  

Now think about that statement, or even both of those statements.  

Are they honest?  

Are they useful?  

Are they kind?  

What on earth makes me ask these questions?  

It is my formulation of a vow of silence I’m promising the celestial powers for the holidays.

All they wanted for Christmas, I guess.

I probably remember the concept of intentional speech like this it from a Buddhist reading or a retreat I went to. I’m going to formulate it more precisely in the days to come and see how it all works out.  

Yeah, that’s my life: a statistically insignificant experiment performed on me, by me, and for me.  

I’m talking to you, turkey. 

This new speaking system is a program I believe will transform my mind as well as my life, not to mention my ever-loving heart.  

For the good, that is.  

I guess I’ll find out.