Acceptance or Rejection
Is it an inside job?
Which one should I choose?
Rejection can feel bad, especially when you don’t expect it.
It is part of life, though, and when you are growing and manifesting new things it seems to happen a lot more.
When I am trying something different it can be even more painful because I am uncertain and vulnerable. I am more likely to make mistakes and to feel sensitive about the result.
Rejection happens all the time. It can be a big deal, like getting fired or divorced, but it also happens casually between strangers.
For people with abandonment issues, rejection can be dangerous. It can trigger an avalanche of deeply rooted thinking errors that can sweep you right down the mountain and bury you quickly under a heavy load of negativity.
“I don’t belong.”
“I will never succeed.”
“People will never accept me.”
“Everything I do is wrong.”
However, rejection does not have to be dangerous. It can be extremely helpful when you accept your feelings and take control of your own thinking process.
Even though rejection might seem at first like an overwhelming negative, it is really a huge opportunity. Big triggers like rejection flush out unhelpful thoughts and beliefs that usually operate invisibly and limit actualization.
An emotional/mental storm of any kind is the perfect time to challenge those ideas, analyze what mistakes might have been made, and put the situation into proper perspective.
In a way, there is no difference between happy feelings and sad ones. What makes me feel good can cause distorted thinking as well.
Acceptance can be just as dangerous as rejection.
Moderation and balance
There may be a little truth in all my ideas, but they usually start off much too extreme.
Facing each thought and belief calmly and putting it into balance is a great practice and a way I can reprogram my deep mind and change my behavior.
Rejecting my own damaging personal beliefs and ideas is the first step. If a rejection that happens to me seems harsh or unfair, I do not have to carry it. I also have to think about what I am sacrificing to feel accepted. I can take away helpful information to improve my thinking and approach while refusing to be ashamed or wounded — or gratuitously elated.
I do not have to fix the situation, either, although there might be times when I do have an opportunity to tweak things a little. For me, useful and sustainable changes are tiny and incremental.
As far as rejection goes, I usually just need to accept that something did not work out and move on. If I made a mistake, I can learn from it and adjust. Moderating my expectations for the future helps as well.
I am learning that rejection is a personal call to self-acceptance and validation. Not everyone is capable or willing to accept me and my ideas. However, I accept me and all that comes with me, and I am really the only person that can do that.
True acceptance comes from within, but it has to be rooted in honesty.
What do you think?